COVID 19 – What changes it brought into my life and the hard lessons I learned

I must admit that Covid 19 made a great impact in our lives. I can’t imagine how I surpassed the challenges when this virus spread throughout the world taking lives of many people from all walks of life and emotionally draining them. I was in turmoil. That sounded terrible indeed. But how come I survived amidst all these? You could not imagine how I tried to face it courageously and fearlessly. I may looked strong from the outside but little did I know that it also torn me apart. My life as a mother, as a sister, as a colleague and as a daughter has become life changing since this crisis began.

My faith in the Lord actually made me stronger and the support from my family and friends also helped me to be a fighter no matter what. It may seemed difficult at first to adjust to this whole new life that we have now. I was even ready to quit my job because I am scared of having to go out and then come home to my family. I was confused on what to do. I do not know how will I take care of my children if I quit the job right away. I was even thinking of living in our farm and manage it. But all these made me more confused because I am a city girl and I do not know anything about farming. I am willing to learn but I know it will not be easier at all.

I go to work thrice a week then the rest would be a wfh arrangement. I was able to adjust wearing both mask and faceshield at work. Then when I get home, I have to take a bath and wash my clothes and sanitize all my things including my shoes before I can go inside the house. That has always been my practice to protect my family who are just staying home especially my mother who is a senior. I take vitamins and medicines everyday because I have rhinitis and asthma. I have my maintenance that I need to take daily. I consumed a lot of alcohol and tissues everytime I go outside. I ride a taxi going to and from work but I make it a point to open the windows and spray alcohol everywhere once I get inside. I am glad the taxi driver does not mind. It has really become a habit for me. My friends and colleagues usually laugh at me for being paranoid but it keeps me calm because I just needed to assure myself that I am protected against the virus.

My eating habits changed. Vegetables is a must in every meal at home. I am glad that my daughters love to eat vegetables especially my youngest whom I do not have difficulty in dealing with when it comes to food. She is a healthy baby. The problem was she did not only became taller but also bigger in size. Ever since pandemic, she gained weight fast.

There are times when I feel down or stressed that I would order food to make me feel lively again. I am just fortunate that I am a food blogger and I have some opportunities to try different kinds of delicious food in exchange of promotion. I consider it as blessings because I can eat whatever I like. I kept taking pictures and promote the food in my blog which is Watching Netflix series like romcom movies and Kdramas entertained me during free time. It helps me to escape reality for the meantime. It takes my mind of worries and anxieties. I tried so hard to force my mind to stop worrying. Sometimes it is working but at times it’s not.

I became a plant lover because of my mom. My colleagues started collecting plants but I was not really into it. But I discovered that I appreciate the plants somehow and started buying one by one and giving it to my mom. We have planted a lot and it is really good feeling to see a simple garden at home.

Times have changed since pandemic. Many people simply celebrate birthdays at home. It is safer and a lot more practical. I also like it because my family became closer as we can bond intimately. My youngest daughter just turned 13 last month and I prepared food for our family. I decorated many colorful balloons and put a little bit of creativeness to make it more presentable. I made my daughter happy. Then came my birthday after few months because we have the same birth month. I also prepared food and my friends also gave me special gifts. It was a simple yet memorable celebration for the whole family. I felt happy and blessed with the food that was delivered to my house given by my dearest friends. I felt their love knowing how important I am to them.

Pandemic has given me both good and bad aspects. How bad? I have been sleeping late at night a lot of times. I feel uneasy and can’t sleep usually. When this happens, my heart palpitates and my high blood pressure goes up. I end up having a headache the next morning. I think almost everyone experience this during the night. I often wake up to 3 am then it is difficult for me to go back to sleep again. This was the time I discovered crystals for love, blessings, protection and strength. I have kept a lot of them for preventing and cleansing negative aura around me. I wore it on my wrist everyday and I also bring some inside my bag. I am a believer of Crystals even before and I am an Angel Card Reader too. I am doing my card readings for myself whenever I feel like it especially when I am stressed and worried. It helps me find the answers in a positive way. I also light or burn incense for cleansing and protection. I have been buying several of these for my daily use while doing my prayer intentions.

I thank my sister for being the most positive person in the family because she is into pranic healing and crystals too. She heals me in a distance including the rest of the family. I think it is doing something good to me. I need everything that will keep me going and stay focus in my life in a good way. Not many people who knew me what I am doing to survive emotionally and mentally. This is why I do not judge those people who feel hopeless or who are greatly affected because I understand them by heart.

Not many people can withstand the huge changes that Covid 19 brought into their lives. But I just felt grateful that God has been there for me and my family. There are lot of things I haven’t done before that I usually do now. It made me a new and stronger person. I had a hard time focusing in the future because I have to face the present. Whatever I did to improve my life right now despite pandemic was priceless. As I looked back at the time that Covid 19 came into our country all of a sudden, I could not remember those difficult moments that we had to face everyday. From wearing of face mask to face shields then more and more government policies implemented for us to follow and help us fight against Covid 19.

My family is my strength. My children are my life and inspiration. That is why I survived emotionally and mentally up to this day. Nowadays, I am still coping but I am handling it in a positive way. I conquer my fears endlessly because I can still feel this whenever I go out. Somehow, I have my weapons to use when challenges come my way. I have my daily habits to practice. These are all useful ways for me. But most of all, prayer is the best weapon to use. God is present. He will never give us problems we can’t handle. All we need is to trust in Him. Have faith in ourselves that we can fight this battle.

I was inspired to write about my story because I want to share it to everyone and let you know that you are not alone. We all have the same experiences right now but we have different ways of coping it. What may seem comfortable to you may not be comfortable to others, vice versa. The most important thing is to deal with it full of love and hope. I woke up this morning and felt the urge to write. It is my tool for expressing what I feel and think at this time. I felt relieved to share it because I know some of you have been feeling down lately and hope this might inspire all of us not to give up on this life.

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