I have been a regular attendee of the Feast held every Saturday at SM Lanang.  Even though it is in the evening I will always make it a point to attend and ride a taxi in going to SM.  If it is traffic, I will reached the place after 15 to 20 minutes. Not that bad.

I do not want to miss the talks of the Feast Builders because I can get a lot of positive insights after having been stressed from a week’s activities.  I get inspired by their stories and realized that it’s somehow related to my life.

Before I talk about the the topic for today’s Feast, I would like to share an unexpected encounter with a taxi driver.  I had been able to mingle with different  taxi drivers here in  Davao City but this one was truly unusual.

To make it short, while he was driving and I got inside his taxi, he turned off the radio and he talked about the Bible verses.  His voice sounded like that of a radio announcer. He memorized some of the Bible verses as if he was holding one and he explained them to me.  I do not know how to react but at that moment, I wanted to tell him to stop but I felt that he might be offended.  From what I have understood, he was not a Catholic and he wanted to let me know that I need to change my religion.  I was very silent the whole time until I was glad that we were already at SM. What an experience it was! I wonder why I have to meet this guy before I go to the Feast.

So moving on, I attended the Feast and was glad to meet the speaker for today’s talk, Brother AJ Perez, whom I admired for his words of wisdom combined with humor and sincerity.  I am glad that there were a lot of people who attended the Feast.  That is a good sign that they want to hear God’s words through our Feast Builders or His servants.

The topic was about telling lies in  life.  We are all guilty about it but one factor that makes us tell lies is the fear within us.  According to Brother AJ’s talk,  we do not want to tell the truth because we are afraid of something but in reality, the truth will always set us free.  If we tell a lie once or twice, it will multiply until it is difficult for us to change our ways because that has been going on in our life for so long. We do not want to come out of our comfort zone because it is easier than taking risks.

I have a lot of fears in life during my past but I am always bothered by it everyday.  I can’t seem to do anything right and I could not focus well because I feel guilty inside knowing that I am not telling the truth. My conscience was eating me up inside.  Was I happy about it? Totally not!

I want to share my biggest “Fear” in the past which I do not usually discuss to some people I knew. Well, they did not ask me though.

First thing was, I became a single parent and it was not the best thing to happen for an educated woman like me, well loved and supported by my family and known to many as the quiet, studious and religious person. It was hard for me to accept it but I have to move on. Then I was scared to tell my friends what I was going through. Scared that they might not accept my situation or probably look down on me because I do not have a partner who will help me raise my children.

This was the burden I had been carrying in my heart and in my mind.  So when I started going out with friends again and started looking for a job, I didn’t tell so much about my personal life.

I do not go out much because I do not want others to know the truth.  I found myself hibernating instead.  I was lonely and became unfriendly.  I pretended to be fine when I am not. But doing this never made me a happy person.

Then miracles happened when I let God entered my life again.  I was invited to a community where I felt I belonged to. Then I came to realize that I am not doing the right thing. I have to face the truth.  It was not easy thing to do but God strengthened and guided me during this journey.

Brother AJ talked about being truthful and thoughtful, about being honest but never rude and being frank but never hurt.  A family is a good example.  Parents should be open to their children and vice versa. Fear should not keep them from maintaining a loving and trusting relationship.

Why am I sharing this? It is because I feel the need to inspire single parents/ single moms like me to let go of their fears too.  To be honest about how they feel or what they need to say.  It will give them freedom to live happily and move on and leave the past behind.  What’s is done is done.

I am slowly picking up the pieces and finding my real self.  I can be who I am and I do not mind if some people still think negatively about me because I know God loves me, believes in me and accepts me for who I am.  I finally found freedom that I took for granted in the past.

I can say that I am blessed to have a loving and supportive family and most especially my daughters whom I live for.  I have great friends who stood by me through thick and thin.

Now, If anyone asked me about my personal life, I will proudly and honestly say, “I am a single parent of two lovely children.”

I would like to end this with an inspirational quote saying from Francis De Saint: ” Be Patient with everyone, but above all with thyself.  I mean, do not be disheartened by your imperfections, but always rise up with fresh courage.”