I can’t think of a very good title that best fits my blog about my wonderful experience which I am going to share to my readers.  I am very excited to be able to give important details on how I was able to endure the pain and move on.

It all started when I touched my neck and felt that there was a very uncomfortable bump which was not supposed to be there. I did not mind it because I thought it was not that serious or maybe it was just there temporarily.  Years had passed and I was not mindful of the lump located in the left portion of my neck.   I was very busy working hard for my family and the things happening around me.

This lump did not hinder me to join different activities I engaged myself with. I was willing to be as busy as a bee so I can work and enjoy the things that I love doing. Or so I thought but I was wrong not to think of my health.  This had made me into a monster that I had not imagined myself to be.  Why? Because when I finally got an appointment with a doctor, the first thing she told me was the word “operation” which gave me not only goosebumps but made me fear for death.  I did not believe in any doctor I went to whenever they tell me I have to undergo operation. But why? I asked them to give me any medicine that could melt this alien thing inside my neck.  The ultrasound report’s impression was Submandibular solid mass in the left which may be an enlarged lymphnode.  I was like having a window shopping of doctors whom a friend doctor describe me as such because he was also concerned about my health.  He told me to stop looking for more doctors because the only thing that can solve my problem is to have it removed.

OMG. It scares the hell out of me just thinking about it.  I did not know if I have to believe what the doctors told me.  I want to listen to what I believed in.  I did not stop praying and looking for answers.  I became very irritable at work especially at home.  I do not also want to talk about my health.  This has been going on for months until I decided to go to a doctor who was referred to me by our pediatrician.  She was a good friend of my sister too. I went to the Alexian Brothers Health and Wellness Center where her hubby’s clinic was.  I went there feeling like a zombie and all.  But then it was a blessing in disguise because I did not expect him to refer me to another surgeon who knows well about my condition.

This time I met the most wonderful doctor whom I described as an angel whom God sent to me and solved my very huge burden.  His name is Dr. Gleno Llamera, Jr.,M.D., FPSO-HNS.  I saw his pure heart as I heard his inspiring words that enlightened me to realize about my health and my children.  I felt that his uniqueness as a doctor which I did not see or felt from the doctors I had been to.  I am a sensitive person that is why I have a very strong ability to identify with another’s feelings. I consider that as my gift.

After meeting my doctor whom I have chosen to do my surgery, I had a good feeling that this operation will push through this time.  The first schedule which we had agreed upon was on September 15, 2016 which will happen before my birthday.  However, due to some unfotunate events in my office, I move the date to another month.  I was already thinking that maybe God is telling me to take it slow because I have to prepare myself emotionally, physically and mentally.  Another part of me says, I have to move fast because I need this lump to be extracted before it becomes bigger and bigger.

The moment has arrived when I went to the hospital early in the morning with my mother who was ever supportive in every decision I made.  My sister was also texting me and giving me words of inspiration despite my mood swings and depression.  They were there to keep telling me to just hang on and everything will work out just fine.  Easy for them to say thought but once I entered into my reserved room at the 5th floor, I felt numbness and nervousness all over my body.  I can’t believe I was there, allowing myself to the idea that I will have an operation which will be done in the afternoon.  I jokingly told my mom to cancel my operation because I am too scared but she got mad.

Before the operation, I became very uneasy though I was lying on the bed.  I watched tv but my mind was empty.  I was also very hungry because I was not allowed to eat after 7 am.  Nurses came to check my pulse and my blood pressure and everything just went fine.  I told my mom not to tell me what time it was so I will not be conscious about my operation.  I was even looking at the door whenever someone comes in because I know nurses will fetch me and bring me to the Operating room.

What really made me stronger is my faith in God and most especially the texts and calls from people who is concerned about my health.  I really felt the love and support of everyone.  I was not alone to carry that burden. God sent so many angels around me to remind me of His presence before and during the operation.  He has been always there all along through many forms.  I have to believe in His plans for me.

When the time has come for me to be brought to the operating room. I was shivering and my mind kept thinking crazy thoughts.  It was the very first time for me to get inside an operating room and I was curious of what it was like.  The nurses I met were all smiling down at me as they greeted me. That lightened up my mood a bit.  One nurse even told me that I was their most beautiful patient in the room.  Another nurse asked if I was single too.  I saw small and big lights inside a room.  I was totally naked but covered with white clothes.  There were three nurses who took care of me while waiting for my doctor and my anesthesiologist. The moment has arrived when one of them came to give me an anesthetic was induced to me.  The very last words I told him was, “Thank you doc. Goodbye”before I inhaled through a breathing mask.

I recovered into consiousness when I found myself inside the recovery room.  I felt so tired and I just could not believe that It was truly over.  The operation was a success. I made it in God’s perfect time. I can’t believe I was able to surpass this nightmare.  I knew in my heart that I am a brave girl.  I am proud of it.  

I went through a lot before this happened. I was given another chance at life to become an  inspiring person to a lot of people.  This had not been a very easy journey for me because I did not think of myself as a strong individual.  My greatest enemy was fear within myself and it ate me up inside until nothing was left for me to bear.  But my faith in God, my love for my children and my family empowered me to move on and make the most important decision of my life.  Financial blessings poured out from a lot of people and prayers from my Feast family. They touched my life. This time allow me to touch your hearts after reading my blog.